Those that know me will know I met my partner in a very unusual way and completely in an unexpected way.
It was at a time I was very in a really good place mentally, emotionally, and physically. I was at my happiest. I cam to accept that I was not with family and truly started living for myself and focused on enjoying my single moments. Just as I decided never, and my wise grandmother always told me never to say ‘never’ words have power.
16 years on Sunday 21st, 2020 with my partner and father of my children. My daughter with blessings came along at 41, surprising the medics and Thomas at 47 both without IVF shocked them more. For anyone experiencing difficulties wanting a family knows that as difficult as it may feel, daunting and despairing as it can get. You need to talk to a professional who has unconditional love for you, and understanding that gets you.
My therapist helped me find myself. I started prioritising; become the number one for myself and brought happiness and acceptance into my life with or without a partner and; children at the forefront of my goal. Some may feel that I was selfish, but it was the best thing that I did for me. I let go of comparing, they are not me, they are not my partner, and they are not my kids. I freed the regrets that were my past and stopped wondering when and how and; instead started truly living for now and myself and ‘I’. Yes, I was once there scared, angry, jealous, sad and wounded and all those things that some can relate to or are going through right now to know no matter what is going on; always remember that you matter.
This Sunday couldn’t have been a more glorious double celebration in any other way than being in Hampstead Heath with my family. It was our day.
I was surprised when I posted the message on Instagram and Facebook that had nine comments but only four visible. The rest were blocked for being inappropriate. I like to say that it was never to offend anyone, or upset anyone by posting my story. My intension was to give hope and tell anyone who is alone, isolated, and worried wanting a family that there may be hope and support to ease what you are going through.
I was fortunate, I have my family. No one can control or guarantee when and if anyone can have a family. Those families that have their children young or have no problem conceiving are very fortunate, but not everyone is or has a choice. My family has not come without costs, without prejudices, judgments, and rejections from many around me.
Thank you for reading so far and sharing our day with us. Happy Father’s Day to all the dads in the world. And anyone who is going through a difficult time or medically finding it difficult to have a family or reason’s of nature that you cannot have your family, it’s always important to talk.