For most people who celebrate Christmas it is a time of joy while it may be a lonely time for those without or even if you have family, friends and colleagues. And for some people it’s a time of year that brings pressure, expectations, anger and sadness to the surface, heavily burdened to attend the functions and family events, buy gifts we don’t want to or get ourselves into debt.
By the time I am able to publish this many would be in the swing of the parties and getting ready for the big day – 25th. Already most of the shops have sold out on Christmas decorations, and party foods are literally walking off the shelves like a war is breaking out with a rush to fill our bunkers, forgetting it’s only for one day.
If you experience this year in and year out with no change but the same, what can you do different? Are you thinking about how awful it’s been the last few Christmases or even all the Christmases you have known, or how you are going to embarrass yourself at the office party and that dreaded lunch with the family? Already you are dreading it before the day has even come?
If you’re thinking about how bad it’s going to be, it’s worth taking a stock of how you’re feeling and remember that it’s only for one day.
Here are some tips to help on the day:
- Bring your focus back to how nice the food and drinks are going to be.
- Spend a little time reflecting – not on the arguments and disagreements of the past – on how everyone has made an effort because they may just be feeling the same.
- If you don’t want to give a gift or can’t afford it and feel guilty, why put yourself through the stress of doing so? Instead why not be honest with yourself even if you can’t tell your family and friends? Take stock because it’s not making you happy, and it’s not them causing this.
- People are going to think what they think, but spending time worrying about what they might be thinking will only build on your anxieties. A quote I have always used that helped me: ‘thinking what others are thinking, what’s the point of having our own minds?’ Remember we are not in their minds!
- If you receive gifts you don’t really like, want or need, welcome them as they are your abundance. You could always re-gift them or give them to someone who needs them or wants them. Otherwise there’s always a charity shop that will find a nice home.
- If you feel lonely or isolated, talk to yourself with kindness and love and know that you are not alone as you have your inner thoughts to support you and be there for you as if you are talking to a friend. We are constantly dialoguing with our inner self without often being aware of it. While it can make us sad, we can just as much use this conversation to make us happy and feel good.
If this helps you or know someone it may help, do pass it on and give me shout.