Victimisation occurs in many forms. The most isolating and hurtful ones are through rumours spread and passed on bad-mouthing individuals behind their backs. They spread repute by unconsciously implying that they are doing you a favour by slandering the other that they are telling you a secrete; therefore you are supposedly cautioned, hence, justifying their reason for the malice.
They are believed without a doubt because the gossip comes from someone who’s in authority, someone they admire, someone they want to be in favour of, or someone they are related to or just don’t like; therefore there is no reason to question the malevolence they spread. Another part of accepting the rumour is unconsciously most people are amused by others suffering and being in pain. That’s why shows like EastEnders are successful as millions gain pleasure from watching others’ misery for nearly 40 years.
When a nasty has been told to an individual/s, automatically the behaviour and actions instinctively change towards the person that has been disparaged. They now add to the victimisation through their behaviour overcome with a sense of false righteousness because of what they have heard but do not validate with the victim.
There are always two sides to every story. Everyone has a right to be heard before the condemnations.
Why, when you have heard a rumour are you not endorsed to seek the other’s opinion of what had happened? Or If it did happen at all? Why start the victimisation, impoliteness, dagger eyes and snide looks or stumble with your words not knowing the exact truth of the tale? Or worse turn your back on them when you see them, even outrageous haughtiness and lie in their face.
Have you heard a rumour against someone you know or heard about?
If so how have you reacted? Have you just trusted the gossiper with their words or have you spoken to the victim and validated their truth? Or are you the one to have simply continued to bully, isolate, ignore and be downright rude to the victim adding to the chain of malice?
If so has your behaviour towards them changed? And are you now one to be spreading those rumours? Have you isolated them, stopped your friendship and even separated children from playing with your kids.
If you have been a victim of malicious rumours, please share your story because the people spreading them don’t know how they cause pain, worry, and anxiety and suck away your joy and fun at every opportunity they get. Getting pleasure seeing your pain needs to stop because your depression may be the direct result of this gossip.
If you have heard hearsay about someone have you added to victimising that person because you fear your own reputation, so you will not fit in or your group will isolate you if you did not collude with the whisperer? Have you treated them different? Or have you gone to the person and told them “I heard this nasty about you from xxx, I would like to know your side of the situation”? That’s all it takes to hear the other situation, and stop the bullying by doing just that, be a better person than joining the crowd.
Rumours and Malice Start Because:
– jealousy – misunderstanding – disagreement
– power – breakdown of a relationship – prejudice
– superiority – simply for no reason at all – think you know better