Do you expect or look to family, friends, bosses and colleagues to recognise and value you for what you do and who you are; but find you are disappointed when they don’t. This happens for two reasons; one is because we don’t tell them, but think they should know. The second most important reason is that we don’t give ourselves the recognition and value we deserve in what we do or speak about who we are, and what we need.
Changing our expectations from wanting others to recognise and value us to recognising and valuing yourself self – is empowering. When we do this we automatically increase our self-worth and the unconscious ripple effect it gives out to others can only align with our thoughts and feelings about ourselves.
Acknowledging our own self-worth, and valuing what we achieve is hard to share. When you have never praised, appreciated or valued yourself worth it is uncomfortable to speak to your own internal inner self can be hard to muster and say how proud you are when you have accomplished something. We stop ourselves with our own internal judgements from praising ourselves as the critical voice kicks in that it would be seen to be showing off, be full of yourself or when you hear others praise themselves it can make you ‘cringe’ and this can stop you so you don’t want to be like them. These comparisons and judgements only hold you back.
How are you to be acknowledged, recognise or valued if you don’t do this for yourself? We have expectations of others to read our minds or expect someone to notice. But these are only expectations and no one can read minds. Still, the unconscious message you send out relays to others that you don’t want to be recognised, valued or appreciated – hence so they don’t – this is when you get disappointed and let down and self-esteem goes down.
Changing your own lack of value and recognising yourself is essential to enable others to value and acknowledge you. I have put together a list of words worth incorporating at least one or two in every interaction and meeting you have with anyone. Getting used to valuing and recognising yourself will guarantee you to be acknowledged and appreciated by others.
The more you use the list, the easier it will become to communicate and voice them out loud consciously. Unconsciously the information starts to embed in our psyche and people remember what they hear, see and feel. We know from experience people remember one negative thing you say or do and never remember the ten things you’re great at. When you internalise positive thoughts and speak out positively about yourself others too will affirm the positive things about you.
Incorporate these words into your daily life and interchange them as you feel and always add and change new ones that fit the situation that’s right for you.
I achieved I supported I informed I completed
I accomplished I developed I progressed I created
I recognised I feel good I mentioned I shared
I engaged I fulfilled I managed I designed
I am responsible I am pleased I successfully executed
That went well That was tuff but I pulled it off I did well with that
I would love to hear how often you use these or other positive words about yourself?
Or do share what changes you experience from people around you when you start applying this process. You should start to notice a change within three weeks of applying it consistently.